THE PARTY NEVER ENDS IF YOU KILL YOURSELF DURING THE PARTY (PT. 7) by Jordan Castro

by Keep This Bag Away From Children

THE PARTY NEVER ENDS IF YOU KILL
YOURSELF DURING THE PARTY (PT. 7)

I want to create a cord that connects my brain to my hands and feet for self-explanatory reasons!

I want to stay in my basement for the next thirty hours and write a novel about how staying in one’s basement for thirty hours and writing a novel is stupid!

I want to carve a pumpkin that looks like Adam Sandler and throw it at the first person I see who looks like Adam Sandler!

I want to stop subconsciously rubbing my facial hair!

I want to invent non-addictive, raw, organic, vegan versions of Percocet and Adderall!

And Xanax and MDMA!

And Alcohol and Tobacco!

I want to build a box around my body then a box around that box, et cetera, until there are a million boxes then I want to hate the boxes and punch the walls around me until my knuckles bleed and nothing happens!

I want The Weakerthans to release a new CD!

I want to wash my hands every time I touch something until my hands become bloody and raw then I want to run into the street screaming “I told you! I told you it was impossible! I fucking told you so!” while crying and flailing around at four a.m. while most people are inside sleeping and the people who are around to see can’t see but don’t need to see because they know!

They already know!

I want to say I’m going to do something then do it and I want to repeat that forever!

I want to slap a girl while receiving a blowjob and say things like “Fuck yeah” and “You like that?” and I want the girl to respond by nodding, looking at my face, and saying “Fuck yeah” and “I love your dick!”

I want to be high on drugs during a weekend at night!

I want to arrive late to my next poetry reading and I want to stand behind the podium and stare blankly ahead while idly saying things like “…” and “Jesus…” in a manner like I’m a broken, unfixable robot because I want my poetry to represent my most frequent self and this is the way I talk and am – a malfunctioning Macbook that one can’t return!

I want to be a famous rapper!

 

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Jordan Castro (b. 1992) is the author of KADIAN (hiphiphooray press, 2012) and 3 other chapbooks. He is the author of 3 ebooks. He is the author of two forthcoming poetry books -YOUNG AMERICANS (CCM, 2013) & if i really wanted to feel happy i would feel happy already (Black Coffee Press, 2013). He has a blog [http://animalsorrow.com] and a Twitter account [http://twitter.com/jordan_castro].